Goodbye Kickoffs, We Hardly Knew Ye

The NFL moved made several rules changes this week, including moving kickoffs up five yards to the 25-yard line. It was explained that this was to minimize the chance of injury with more touchbacks and players not being able to attain the same velocity before meeting the opposing team. Fair enough. Kevin Everett was paralyzed during a kickoff three years ago and the NFL is trying to focus more on player safety.

What is surprising to me is the outcry that resulted. Sorry, Devin Hester and Josh Cribbs. You parlayed your speed into million-dollar contracts when you play almost a tenth of the time as everyone else. Stop complaining and start practicing catching balls.

The genius Lovie Smith lamented the loss, saying that kickoffs are the most exciting play in football. What an overstatement. You know what I usually call kickoffs? Bathroom breaks. I'd rather watch Eli throw a bomb to Hakeem Nicks or lead a two-minute drill down the field. Maybe it's the fact that the Giants haven't had a kick returner of note for a while. Or maybe it's just that the teams that rely on their kick returner for points are shitty teams that can't put together a decent offensive series. Whatever the case, I won't be crying for kick returns, and if it means less injuries without severely pussifying the game, I'm all for it.