NERD ALERT! Phoenix Jones is a real-life superhero. At night, he patrols the mean streets of Seattle and protects everyday citizens from renegade baristas and Oklahoma City billionaires. On Saturday, Phoenix tried to break up a fight but got his nose broken. This guy is a nut. He needs to stay out of the way of the police and get a whistle instead. If I saw this guy on the street, I'd probably punch him in the face for just wearing the costume. He should dress up like an old lady like Hightower did in Police Academy. And how are we supposed that he's a superhero and not a supervillain? He could be coming to rape me. Phoenix obviously means well, but he needs to lose the getup and maybe just volunteer at a charity. He should focus his superpowers more on making friends than getting his nose broken.
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