I went to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Hoboken on Saturday. I have honestly never seen more hot girls collected in one place in all my life. It was the first really warm day of the year and coinciding with the parade was the perfect storm. Of course, me and my buddies ended up at a party where all the chicks seemed to have seen better days. I started playing beer pong with one of them and then she started telling me about her bachelorette party. NEXT!
The real highlight came when I stopped in a back alley to take a leak. Totally empty. I'm not a total creep. I notice a car about three blocks away. I'm thinking no big deal. This'll just take a sec. I zip back up and the car speeds up to me and two cops jump out and ask for my ID. Hoboken set up a sting operation in an alley to catch public urinators!!! And of course, I was caught. I was surprised Chris Hansen didn't run out to interview me.
CH: "I'm Chris Hansen, Dateline NBC. So what are you doing in this alleyway, sir?"
KS: "Uhhhhhhhh, I was just checking my cell phone."
CH: "Then why is there piss on your shoes? And why are there condoms and wine coolers in your pickup truck?"
Looks like a $2,000 fine for the Stoner. If you would like to help pay it, please send all contributions to the Rainman Suite. Ladies, you can come deliver it by hand.
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