Jabroni of the Week: The Situation

It was a rough week for Sitch. First, he bombed at Donald Trump's roast. I was actually impressed by his performance. He had poise even in the face of a hostile audience that was booing him. The problem was that his jokes were lame. Half of them didn't have punchlines. Don't say that Whitney Cummings is like the girls you used to smoosh before you got famous. Whitney is cool. Plus, she's actually funny. Assuming Sitch didn't write his own jokes, he's either an idiot for not reading them over beforehand and realizing that they suck, or having management that wasn't on top of it from Day 1. If this kid is going to cross into the mainstream like he wants to, it was a terrible first step.

Then, on this week's episode of Ronnie Loves Sammi, The Situation told Ronnie's mom (who's a lush on the level of Kathie Lee Gifford) all about Sammi's dalliance with Lou Ferrigno. You can spread shit with the roommates all you want, but you can't be spreading shit with your bro's mom, especially when she's off the reservation. The Situation might be looking out for Ronnie and it does seems like there's more between Sammi and the Hulk than meets the eye, but he went too far.

Mikey, baby, you can be a Star. I really think so. Yeah, probably not a movie star, but on the level of a likable pop icon like Mario Lopez. The important part is remaining likable. I know you're a smarter guy than it appears but you really have to be on guard at all times.

There are so many people that are rooting against you and will destroy you after your first mistake. Luckily, the Trump roast wasn't a huge showcase, but if you nailed it, it would have been a big boost. Find somebody smart to watch your back. I'd volunteer my services but I'm busy with Charlie. Wisen up, buddy, or you're going to be back to smooshing grenades in a minute. Until then, you're a jabroni, brother.