Philadelphia Phollies

I went to Philadelphia over the weekend and it's an interesting place.  Kind of like a Bizarro New York.  Here are my observations in bullet-form because I'm too lazy to do anything else:

• I was on the Ben Franklin Bridge and made a perfectly legal lane change.  The guy behind me started honking his horn hysterically.  I wasn't in Philly yet and people were already acting like idiots.
• The parking is horrible.  I got lucky and found a space at a meter but needed to keep refilling it until 10PM.  10PM!  I could understand 8, but can't a guy just park for free on a Friday night?
• The garbage cans in Philadelphia are solar powered.   It's a good thing there's no tall buildings to block the sun.  Wait a minute...there are!  And yes, these garbage cans cost over $3,000 each.  Geniuses.
• I never thought anything could be worse than the PATH train but I never saw the Philadelphia subway system.  There were no signs in the station I was at so I walked around a giant concourse with homeless people sleeping all over the place for about 10 minutes until I finally found the train.  Once I got on, there was a guy yelling at everyone to give him 50¢.  A cop was standing five feet away and did nothing.  At least in New York the crazy people are polite enough to recite a memorized speech with zero enthusiasm when they're asking for money.
• They sold the naming rights to the subway station by all the stadiums.  It's called AT&T Station.  Is that the biggest whore move there ever was?  I know it's a poor city, but have a little pride.   You'll never see Union Square Station changing its name to Best Buy Station.
• I went to the Knicks-Sixers game at the Wells Fargo Center (worst arena name ever) and was shocked at how dead the crowd was for a Friday night game against a decent opponent.  The stands were pretty full.  It was just very, very quiet.  Knicks fans were chanting "MVP" for Amar'e and "defense" when the Sixers had the ball.  The Philly fans didn't do anything about it besides a few muffled boos.  There were half as many Knicks fans but we were making twice the noise.  I was expecting to get punched in the face the first time I chanted "defense" in my Amar'e jersey.
• The PA announcer at the game was hilarious.  Apparently, his name is Matt Cord and he's one of those new-school guys that has to announce every 3-pointer like he's introducing Van Halen to get the crowd fired up.  Whenever something good happened for the Sixers, he would get so excited that he literally didn't finish the call.  It was basically, "THADDEUS YOUNG FROM ANDRE IGOKLSJKKSJKSDJ!!!!" or "OFFENSIVE FOUL ON LANDRY FLKSDLWL!!!!"  It was like that SNL sketch when Chris Kattan would play that Southern guy that nobody could understand.  That wasn't even the funniest part.  Whenever a call went against the Sixers, he announced it like it was the saddest thing that ever happened to him.  He sounded like Droopy Dog.  I thought he was going to start crying every time Ray Felton hit a 3.  I can't describe how funny this was.  I miss the days when the PA guy would make straight announcements and people could tell who the foul was on.
• Philly has got to be the white trash thug life capital of the world.  Almost every guy I saw in Philly looked like Eminem circa 1999.  Cap turned up and to the side.  Pale.  Dark circles under the eyes.  Thin little sideburns.  I'm sure if you wanted to buy some weed, there wouldn't be a shortage of people that could sell it to you.  It's not a surprise they liked Allen Iverson so much.
• I was walking down the street and I heard two guys arguing about who was better: Eric Lindros or Michael Vick.  I wanted to shoot myself in the face.
• I got a parking ticket at 9:03.  I left immediately.